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I Stay, I Go


29th January 2002

9:15am: Me - pompous?
I don't like the tone of my entries so far. I sound somewhat pompous and superior. I guess I do have a problem with this. I DO feel like most people are shallow and sleep-walking. And I feel like I want nothing to DO with this. It's frustrating co's I almost WANT to be able to NOT CARE when the conversation is painfully mundane. I WANT to be able to just go along for the ride, smile, shake my head in numb agreement as opposed to feeling like I want to SHAKE them AWAKE!!

Maybe it's fear...

Maybe we can't reeeeally say what we're thinking or what creeps into our awareness when the lights go out?

Maybe it's too scary to be that r a w....?
9:45am: Visit wisdom
Beautiful sounds, lovely pictures, well-written:

10:05am: The Invitation
This is one of my all time favorite pieces of writing and it echoes my own desires.

The Invitation
by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

Oriah Mountain Dreamer
copyright 1999 by Oriah Mountain Dreamer.
6:49pm: Mighty Lion
My son's just uploaded a picture of a Mighty Lion to grace my entries with until we figure out how to use a pic of me!

Did it work?
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