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I Stay, I Go


8th March 2002

8:32am: crap. crap. crap.

I was out in Redmond for rehearsal last night and walked out afterwards into a wretched snowstorm, albeit b e a u t eous. I was floored when Belle, my Taurus would not GET A GRIP and see me home. She just veered n slid- Fucking rear wheel drive SUX. She's parked somewhere in Sammamish now, growl, haven't the foggiest idea how I'll retrieve her wussy ass but hey! I got to hitchhike home - wheee! My feet were freezing since I was wearing sandals but I didn't have to wait long for Dentist Dan, an elderly man just returning home from his sons birthday party, to pick me up after seeing about 10 cars race past me. Broke his heart he said. And even though he was just a few blocks from his warm snug home he took me ALL THE WAY HOME to Capitol Hill through traffic snares that would make your feet curl, unless they were too frozen of course.

Oh Belle! How could you forsake me wench???

I haven't hitchhiked since Toronto (that's what TO stands for Jamie) and here's why. One night I was reeling home from my favorite pub, thumb out even though I only lived a mile or so away but it was LATE and I was DRUNK and I was used to hitching rides so....this young guy picks me up and I tell him where I'm going but on the way there he suddenly veers into this dark, empty lot. He pulls out this gun, positions it about 2 inches away from my left temple n says "Gimme a blowjob or I'll blow yer brains out!!" Well, y'know what?
I was so loaded n feelin' sooo cocky that I spat out "Honey if I gotta give you a BLOWJOB to SURVIVE then I DON'T WANT to live inna world like dat!"

He opened my door and shoved me out.

I'm glad dentist Dan didn't pull any shit but as he dropped me off I FULLY expected him to ask for a BJ. Ha! I woulda clocked him.

How'm I gonna get my car dammit?!!!!!
11:51am: Happy! Happy!
How do you spell Happy?

" B-e-l-l-e i-n t-h-e d-r-i-v-e-w-a-y ! "

*does the 'I love that wench Belle' dance and swings ass reeeeally wide to mimic Belle's huge butt*

Would've liked to have met the snow reclaimer god.

*sighs wistfully*

But that's fer another day...
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