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I Stay, I Go


24th March 2002

10:07am: I am of the dying breed of Sunworshippers.
There is something so soul-drenchingly good about being outside on an early spring day. The temperature warm and the sun on your face and arms. My skin is tingling with the happy remembering. This is soooo welcomed.

I decided to go and visit my best friend- The Arboretum.

I first headed for my favorite spot. I can't be too descriptive here. I love you all but I don't wantcha in my spot. heh..

As I rounded the bush leading to my bench I had to stop in my tracks and smile.
Someone had left a handful of pink rhodedendrum buds mingled with bright yellow dandelions- right there on my throne. Nice surreal romantic touch, oui?

I took it as a lovely welcome back.

I basked in the sun unhurriedly, lifting up my face to feel the warmth straight on. I honestly can't think of a more glorious feeling,
the warm sun on me-
that's all. I. need.

Then I read a short piece called Quiet please by Aimee Bender.
(anoisblue had just posted it. The story is here.)
It was about a sexy and distraught librarian. Very well-written; funny, sexy, poignant...

Then again with the throwing the head back...

I was surrounded by this melodic cacophony of twitterings and songs and I could hear young children laughing gleefully in the distance (thank you thank you yes they're far away)
And best yet, no one can see me cos I'm encircled by trees and a small muddy pond which is flecked with the brightest green algae. Neon algae, yea.

And now! suddenly! 2 little blonde girls in pink noisy dresses come reeling into my secret space! They flutter bewilderedly, then quickly they're gone with fading shouts of "Daddy! Daddy!" & the whirling of chiffon.

Strolled around some more tho' I was feeling decidedly anti-social and avoided crossing paths with people. I'm weird like that sometimes.

Then, heading back, I looked down to see if anyone were yet sitting in my secret place and yes, a young couple was entwined there, kissing lightly & smiling.

I am so glad I left the flowers...

So, this is what's real in my life.

And not much else.

This is my medicine.
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