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I Stay, I Go


17th May 2002

10:40am: The schools are closed today so I have a day off from testing and the boyz are home too.

We were all being quite nasty to one another so I put us all in time out; me in my room (w/door barricaded by ironing board), Zakk in the boyz room and Shane in the living room. I was pouting & feeling how sad it was that I am thinking that my own children are assholes.

Then after about 5 minutes I hear Shane say quietly, respectfully, "Hey mom? Can I ask Zakk if I can take him to Safeway?" "Um,..what for?" "Oh, I was being mean to him earlier and I feel bad about that. Just want to get him a treat or something." The tears welled up in my eyes and I cried (softly) long and hard cos damn, that was SOOOO beautiful & moving & lovely & heartbreaking.

They're outside now, fixing an old bike together...

*wipes tear*

This motherhood thing is so damn hard. And I love it so...
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