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I Stay, I Go

History

23rd July 2002

8:37am: Yesterday was a little tough....

Levin came to rehearsal and said he'd be able to drum for our Friday performance after all. Ricardo had been working hard trying to learn all of the dununba parts so he could fill in for him but with Levin back, it made sense to suggest he go back on djembe. I could tell he was upset though. He much rather be playing the dununba.

It reminded me of a few years back. A bunch of us Buddhists were sitting around Lamas' kitchen table after a meditation session and lama asked if any one of us could draw. I chirped in that I could and before I knew it I was being asked to paint 8 seven foot high, sky-blue silk banners, each containing one of the 8 auspicious symbols, in honor of a very realized meditation master who was coming o Seattle for a visit and to give a series of teachings. Yipes. Nervous and unsure, I accepted the task and asked my artist friend, Via, to help which she gladly agreed to. We got the first piece of silk stretched taut onto a wooden frame and I lightly sketched out the outline of the first symbol- a blooming lotus flower. I explained to Via that lama wanted the symbols painted in a red-magenta with metallic gold outline. I am very fastidious when it comes to such things so I was smoothing out the paint trying to get an even consistency throughout. Via was on the other side of the huge frame painting away happily and at one point I looked up and, to my dismay, I saw big globs of paint on the outline looking uneven and blotchy. I suggested she smooth them out and she went on about how that was 'her style' and looked fine. I knew her HEART was in the right place- she was LOVING being a part of creating such a wonderful offering for Situ, Rinpoche. But those globs were unnerving! Lama came the next day to have a look and wasn't at all pleased with Via's side. I said "Lama, she is feeling so joyous and honored to be a part of this creation- doesn't that mean MORE than creating perfectly even, smooth, symmetrical banners?"

Uh...no. It does not.

I love Ricardo but..... his paint is a little blotchy yet, that's all.
10:56am: yes, there is profound beauty in the most wretched scenarios...
comfort
...original post by roshi
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