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I Stay, I Go


19th August 2002

1:02pm: What I am saying does not mean that there will hence-
forth be no form of art. It only means that there will
be a new form, and that this form will be of such a
type that it admits the chaos and does not try to say
that the chaos is really something else... To find a
form that accommodates the mess, that is the task of
the artist now.

~Samuel Beckett.
1:09pm: If someone said to you "I've got ten on the slab"
what do you think they'd mean?
1:14pm: You know, there was a wee nagging doubt that perhaps there was only one 'm' in 'accommodating'. And yes, I know all about the spell-check. But I like reaching down into the darkness of my desk and clutching up my hefty Websters', feeling my arm sag under the weight of it, breathing in it's musty scent.
I love the way the thin paper flutters and crinkles under my delicate fingertips. The sound of it, the gracefully flapping pages, the fragility. Some days, like today, I am kind. I am patient. i am mindful & present. Other days I snatch her up in a fury, in a hungry desperate need for the word, the word that will fill me, the word that will solve the mysteries, the word that will go so far down into my
and pierce me.

I don't know what that means..


( ps: spell-check gave the word 'godlessness' as an alternative to 'wordlessness'...
.. fascinating... would it follow then that god is the word? )

That's what talking is for,
to help us to be One. Manyness
is having 60 different emotions.
Unity is peace, and silence.

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