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I Stay, I Go


12th September 2002

1:15pm: So, my mom called yesterday....

My mom lives about 14 blocks away and I haven't seen her since Dec 2000. Almost 2 years. There are reasons for this. Mostly, it was painful for me to see her waste her life. She was once a writer and full of ideas and passion. Writing poetry from her GUTS. But after the divorce, her flame slowly went out somehow. And for years now, she's done little more than sit at her table, sip tea and do crossword puzzles or read biographies. She lived with me a while back and would come home from the library with a big stack of biographies and now & then, she'd tell me about them and all the while my mind would scream "LIVE WOMAN!!!! LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE!!!! DO SOMETHING, ANYTHING- JUST LIIIIIIVE- PLEEEEEAAASE!!!!!"

So she called me. She asked how I'd been and what I'd been up to and I had ALOT of NEWS, my jobs, potential new job, drumming, band, boyz, live journal (I gushed about you guys.. :D) And she asked about the boyz and I went on and on about them too. I asked her what she's been up to and she said "Nothing. Really nothing. Still reading biographies." My stomach clenched a little. No changes in all this time. I don't know. It's sad to me and I am hesitating at the door.
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