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I Stay, I Go


13th December 2002

9:21am: So I walk out of my building last night to go drum for an African dance class and I see the hood of my Volvo is up and the battery has been snatched!

I've put an ad here to see if I can find a cheap replacement. So far no one's nibbling. :( (Ha! Just looked at the clock and it's only 9:30 a.m. Just feels late since I've been up for hours.)

Hey, if that's the worst thing that happens to me this year, well, I'm in damn good shape.
10:04am: APHASIA

for Honeya

After the stroke all she could say
was Venezuela, pointing to the pitcher
with its bright blue rim, her one word
command. And when she drank the clear
water in and gave the glass back,
it was Venezuela again, gratitude,
maybe, or the word now simply
a sigh, like the sky in the window,
the pillows a cloudy definition
propped beneath her head. Pink roses
dying on the bedside table, each fallen
petal a scrap in the shape of a country
she'd never been to, had never once
expressed interest in, and now
it was everywhere, in the peach
she lifted, dripping, to her lips,
the white tissue in the box, her brooding
children when they came to visit,
baptized with their new name
after each kiss. And at night
she whispered it, dark narcotic
in her husbands ear as he bent
to listen, her hands fumbling
at her buttons, her breasts,
holding them up to the light
like a gift. Venezuela, she said.

~Dorianne Laux
9:48pm: There is so much beauty in this world.
Sometimes I can hardly bear it.
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